I often think that the shittiest thing about becoming an aware adult is realizing that people are really a mess when it comes down to it. The question is when you give up or when you say you're in it for the long haul...or at least another couple years or so.
When you're young, you don't take into consideration that at a certain point in life you will have to deal with heavy shit. Illness, death, hurt, confusion, love, the absence of love, and all those other fond memories. I think it comes down to who you have in your corner and I've always tried to surround myself with people who I knew I could count on in a situation like that. In return though, I have given of myself to those who I thought were deserving. I think though that I, as many people do, have let some friends fall to the wayside in the past. As an adult, you realize when someone needs you, and you try to be there for them. Even if, as in my case, you get shit on a lot.
Recently though, I wonder whether I'll get any pay back for the shit storm I have often ensued. I guess I just have to wait and see what happens with the other 3 quarters of my life. It's frustrating and it makes you question who you are and what kind of standards you're holding others to. Are those realistic? In the sum of all things, probably not. People are a ball of flaws. Either you can deal with them or you can decide to break your ties. This has been my struggle the last couple days.
I think I just signed myself up for another tour of duty.
Do they give out purple hearts for acts of friendship?
Perhaps I'm holding myself in better regard than I should.
In other news, the new Wilco album is indescribably perfect. I can't stop listening to it.
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