Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Dolla Dolla Bills Ya'll

Last we left off, I was hanging out with "Rude Boy" who was dressed as a skin head, until he ran off into the sunset. I pity the fool who is sitting next to that guy on the plane. What a nightmare.

Anywho, so the flight to California is a little over 4 hours. We've already been sitting on the runway for an hour before we even take off. I'm surrounded by really old people and really young babies. You'd think the babies would be the problem, but not so. The old people behind me were the kind of people who have to narrate everything and state the obvious. The two in front of me smelled like a mixture of York Peppermint Patties and nicotine but they were pretty quiet. The two behind me had no odor, but they take the cake for annoying old people. Old people on planes are seriously the worst.

Here's a little glimpse into my hour on tarmack:

Please imagine this in a very monotone old person voice.
Old guy: This is awful
Old lady: What is going on?
OG (pretending he knows what he's talking about): They should be giving us updates on the take off. That's what they should be doing.
OL: This is awwwwfuuuuul
OG: Look, that Korean plan just cut in line in front of us.
OL: This is awful.

It's like, 'really? you think this is awful? you know what is awful? listening to the sound of the two of you effing yammering back and forth and complaining about it!'

Then they start reading off all the names of the different airlines.
OG: American Airlines
OL: hmmmm.
OL: Delta
OG: hmmmm.
OG: United
OL: What?
OG: UNITED!
OL: hmmmm.

this went on until we took off. I had to save my precious battery on my Zune so I could watch back to back episodes of Always Sunny in Philadelphia and listen to my "airplane" music. I have certain albums and artists that I always listen to on the airplane. Almost always they include Illinoise by Sufjan Stevens, anything by The Get Up Kids, Interpol's Antics, a little Band of Horses, Death Cab, and then I listen to some more upbeat stuff when I feel sleepy. This time I listened to the new Lupe Fiasco (which is so good) and Smoke or Fire. I don't sleep on planes when I'm by myself. A) because I'm a freak show I and I feel like I'm going to snore, talk in my sleep, or twitch violently or something and that shit is embarrassing and B) Because I'm even more of a freak and I think someone is going to like dig through my shit when I'm sleeping. Thanks, Mom for making me a safety freak. Thanks, A lot.

Anywho, so I'm in the air and I'm thanking Jesus that I don't have a talker next to me. I have a window seat, but it doesn't matter much because this is what pretty much all of America looks like from Chicago to California:

(I almost feel guilty posting these pictures. Not because you'll be jealous of my trip or anything, but because they are so boring. But then again, I can probably come up with something witty to say about them. So here goes.)



Yup, one enorme crop circle. I literally took this one like a half hour later because I couldn't believe I'd been looking at the same boring shit for that long:



I then close the shade, buy a $5.00 sandwich because it's now like 1 p.m. cst and my stomach is eating itself, and I watch my stories for a while.

When we got closer to the West coast I opened the shade again. The scenery changed..and if at all possible, it became uglier:



I then read the entire New York Magazine I bought and it was a good pick. I mostly enjoyed the feature about the 50 reasons to love New York...even though I don't live there, it was a pretty cool idea and also a piece on the Wu-Tang Clan's new album which includes a guide to help you identify your favorite ruckus bringing mother f-ers. It's a hoot and definitely worth a gander.

My favorite fact about Method Man, besides the fact that he is the 'heart throb' of the clan:
he is "According to GZA, stoned on average “eighteen hours” a day."

So that was a good way to spend some time.

OH! Finally! We are here! Sunny...San Diego!

er...wait a minute! I forgot, the west coast is being hit with torrential rains! Just my luck!

Waaaa...Waaaa...welcome to San Diego.


Depressing.

That's about enough for now, isn't it? More at a later date.

I will now leave you with one of my favorite things about the T.V. strike:


Coney's beard.

Also, I plan on having an outlet to talk about wedding stuff, but I haven't created it yet. And no, it will not live on the knot.

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