Halloween is coming and we actually have two parties to go to this year! I have no costume yet and no real leads on one. Last year, I had the best effing idea for a "couple's" costume:
Yes, I know. Awesome. You don't have to tell me twice. I don't think I could pull it off this year though, maybe next year after I chop my hair post wedding. Well, enough reminiscing about great ideas that never came to fruition because NO ONE had a Halloween party last year.
On to some ideas for this year. Now, there isn't much time left but I thought of some "cute" ideas.
1. A retro/vintage waitress costume:
Something like that, but a little more stylish. I've been having a hard time finding exactly what I'm looking for. I thought it would be way easier to find an retro waitress outfit.
However, what I have found out is that there are quite a few "sexy waitress" costumes. Shocking, I know.
...she's gonna give it to ya!
I'm not even going to go there with the whole choking the chicken thing...oh wait, I just did.
Look, it's Kendra! Even Playboy is cashing in on the sexiness that is the 50's waitress!
This one though, not so much. She actually looks a little haggard, like she really is a waitress. And is that a lunch box or a bowling bag? What's with the glasses? This isn't the sexy secretary/teacher/school girl shoot! Get it right!
So, obviously I didn't have much luck with the whole waitress get up. I thought maybe Alice in Wonderland would be cute. I have blonde hair...it's a start.
Okay, so I found a couple Alice costumes and this sweet photo of Paris Hilton
"
Hi Sexy"
The normal costumes were pretty hideous, but in my search, I found that there was actually a Web site called www.buyaliceinwonderlandcostumes.com that had this disturbing evolution of Alice.
Observe:
Future sisterwife.
totally normal and appropriate
This is labeled as the "Child Teen Sexy Alice Costume." So, incase you weren't already worried about sending your 12 year old daughter out trick or treating, you can just dress her up like a whore and she'll get a real treat from that weird neighbor with the stutter!
And here we have the "Teen Alice in Wonderland Costume." Nice to see that Susan Summers is still getting work.
This is still a little too pilgrim/amish/compound for me.
This is the only costume that I would consider wearing from this Web site. But, in fear of sounding to slutty or too much like Tim Gunn a la PR, it's a "little to matronly." Plus I can see from here that it is definitely made of some sort of shiny synthetic and the last thing I need is to be itchin and scratchin' all night. I'll leave that up to the poor drunk sole who gets it on with the mystery man in the mask and ends up having a mystery rash the next day.
She'll probably be wearing something more like this...
Or perhaps even this!
Maybe I could find a friend to go as the "sexy Mad Hatter."
Don't think they aren't worried about the plus size and or maternity sportin' ladies. This lady might be carrying her 65 year old second cousin's child, but they aren't discriminatin!
And the topper...last but not least, the "Plus Size Sexy" costume.
I have to add this one last costume, because it is so effing ridiculous. I present to you ladies and gentleman, The Sexy Cherry Pie!
I mean as if pie wasn't sexy enough as it is, they had to go and make a slutty halloween costume out of it!
OH God! One more, I promise!! This one is too good!
It's called: "Weird Sexy Pilgrim Costume--Hester from Scarlet Letter." The description on the Web site says: "Hey, there’s a sexy costume for every occasion." HA! Making the Scarlet Letter sexy!?! Looks like someone just gave up on their sexy costume description writing job.
Okay, enough of this nonsense. If you are bored and would like to look at ridiculous costumes that I'm sure you will see plenty of young women sporting this Halloween, you should go
here.
I guess I'm going to have to keep looking. In the end I'm sure I'll end up being a cat...just like last year...and I'll probably make it sexy. What? It's Halloween. Meow.
